Birthday Cake Dilemma

"Your cake is delicious, Kate!"
"Aw thank you, I'll take your word for it!"
Okay, so I didn't actually say that, but I was in a position where I could have. Allow me to explain:

The Back Story:

I decided about a year and a half ago to stop eating meat, dairy and eggs. I had recently learned of animal agriculture's substantial contribution to climate change, deforestation, and pollution. I decided that I would try for a few months to diminish my environmental impact by abstaining from animal products, and quickly decided that my experiment would become a permanent dietary change. I also began to learn about the health benefits of adopting a plant based diet, which made abstaining from animal products even easier for me than it was before. In spite of this, it took me several months before I gave in and accepted the label "vegan." I didn't want my lifestyle decision to influence how I related to people, or the perception that I gave off to others. I feared that if I called myself a vegan I would give people permission to associate me with the undertones that they may (consciously or otherwise) relate to the label, before they even get to know me. Eventually, I conceded to the label as a means of simplifying the process of explaining to friends and restaurant staff what I prefer not to eat. Still, though, I wish that veganism were not sectioned off as a subculture or alternative way of life, but rather normalized as simply a reasonable and responsible way of eating. This belief is what frequently presents me with challenges. I don't like that my ethical and moral code sometimes makes it more difficult for me to share food with people. This difficulty that results from my plant based diet I believe contributes to the negative perception of veganism, and inhibits people from considering adopting the diet themselves. I thus try to downplay the inconveniences that I face when eating with people, and frequently tell friends or family that "I can find something on any menu!" when they are choosing a restaurant. I really don't mind making meals out of side dishes, but there are some times in which my vegan ethic is seriously challenged. Celebrations are the hardest.
Food has a beautiful way of commemorating occasions and bringing people together. Certain celebrations are often associated fondly in our memories with specific foods, whether those foods are unique to our personal histories or shared across cultures. Birthday cake is one of those foods that is synonymous with the celebration. This is where my dilemma comes in.

The Dilemma:

My good family friend had a birthday recently, and my parents hosted a gathering to commemorate the occasion. When asked what kind of cake she preferred, she specifically requested white cake with vanilla buttercream. I love baking for people; I love the artistry, I love the time spent working on a project, I love the sitting around the table and seeing my friends enjoying the delicacy, I love the joy that it brings. I have thus baked several lovely cakes in my day. Knowing this, my mom requested several days before the gathering that I bake the cake for our sweet friend. I'm not going to lie: I was crabby about it. I felt very conflicted. Ordinarily I would just come up with a cake recipe that omits dairy and eggs, but the request for buttercream frosting made that idea a nonstarter. Either I could allow my code of ethics to prevent me from blessing my friend with a pretty birthday cake of her desired flavor, or I could violate my code of ethics and bake the cake. Even if I didn't bake the cake, however, I was violating my values, which tell me to use my skills to bless the people I love. 

I eventually came to the conclusion that my personal decision not to support animal agriculture is unlikely to have much of an impact on the world. However, the way that I treat individuals in my life has the potential to stick with each of them. Thus, I thought perhaps baking the cake might have more of a net positive impact than abstaining from engaging in an activity that directly involves dairy and eggs. So, I baked the cake. I didn't eat any, though, in case you were wondering.

Just to prove that it's possible to make birthday cake without cow and chicken products, however, I decided to bake an additional cake. I'm still perfecting the recipe though...